Physical Therapy: The Challenges of Counting and Compliance

I've been going to physical therapy twice a week for the past 3 months.  On average, each visit lasts about 2.5 hours.  Yes, that is 2.5 hours.  I've been through a lot of physical therapy over the years:  knees at 16, 17, etc; back starting in 2007, and then this surgery.  When I tell you I think these guys are the very best physical therapy team, I'm not kidding.  

I typically go in the mornings when its a bit more quiet and there are fewer distractions.  Most of my colleagues are well into retirement and are nursing fixed broken hips, replaced shoulders, total knee replacements, etc..  There are a lot of characters.  Today I sat next to Chuck, a big African American guy with white hair and an AC/DC tee-shirt.  He was doing his exercises while singing along to the radio:  U2, Midnight Oil, and yes, even the B-52's.  He even knew all the lyrics and did some solo air drums in between sets.  I was amused.

When my physical therapist was stretching me out I started a new conversation thread asking him what the most difficult part of his job was.  He said it was those patients that want to legislate the program he designs for them.  For example, someone is referred because of hip and back pain but refuses to do the exercises because it hurts.  Or, another extreme would be someone who keeps pestering him for new exercises, harder drills, or excessive sets.  It was almost on cue when Pat showed up at the door.

Pat, a 65+ year old female with a thick Boston accent, came in on crutches and immediately began talking about the games last night.  How if her hips were better she would have gone out to shoot the pitcher of the Red Sox because it was pitiful to see how he missed whatever x-y-z play.  She then announced that she decided to not do the "clam shell" exercises at home yesterday because she was sore.  Pete, my P.T., asked how she was sore and how many she did.

"Oh, abouht 75."

I couldn't help but bust out laughing in the middle of my painful hip flexor stretch.  75?!?  Is this woman mad?  

"Paht, we told you 3 sehts of 10.  That shoulda been thirty.  Where'd ya get this wicked idear of 75?"

"Wherz Woody?  Woody!   Cohm heahr a minute, would ya?  You had me doin 25 last week."

Woody, another physical therapist, meanders over.  "Yeah, I told you to do 30, as in 3 sets of 10."

Pat shrugged her shoulders and picked off some imaginary lint.  "Well, you see I gotta whole systim figgred ouht.  I gotta have somethin' ta do durhing tha commercials of that awful game, which I still woulda shot that pitchar if I could.  But I do 3 sets of 25 on each side."

"Paht, that's not 75, that's 150 total.  You see?  And you wondah why youz still hearh since Nohvemba."  

"Acutally I started in Octoba.  See?  That's what you know."