Denial isn't denial when you know what it is

T minus 7 days and counting.

Here I am on the supposed "day of rest" and thinking, "Gee, all I've done is rest." One would think I would be swimming in a sea of cardboard and chaos. Oh, no. Life is pretty much status quo denial. I've discovered the miracle of space bags (think vacuum sealed sweaters condensed down to the size of your dog). They are lined up nicely by the door. Last night over a mojhito I began to disassemble my summer sand scape with shells and votive candles on the living room table. Didn't get too far with that.

I was honestly counting on and looking forward to my mom coming out. She is a wonderful and willing companion when addressing insurmountable tasks like refinishing the deck at 5 AM before scorching heat hits when the sun rises and breaking down long arduous processes like packing a whole house. Often, as a bonus, she'll show up with fun food like bagels and coffee. She also always makes me laugh through the whole process. She is a 5 foot package of humor and encouragement all in one.

I haven't seen my mom since Christmas. This makes me incredibly lonely and sad as I used to spend every Saturday with her when I lived out West. The plan was for her to come out and help, but circumstances are what they are and I suppose being alone with this process is just another step in christening me into adulthood. It totally sucks and I am angry that I didn't get my way and rebelling as much as possible. I know, super mature, right?

My rebellion isn't going as well as it should. Rebellion should be fun! Like binge drinking when you are a freshman in college or driving 10 miles over the speed limit. Nope, this rebellion is losing its appeal quickly. My body is in the process of breaking down and I have for the very first time in my 32 years, a cold sore. I feel like the Tide commercial that was run during the Superbowl. Its worth viewing. Thank God I only have two more days of work. I love my work, but I feel like I'm 14 with my hyper self-centered outlook and hyper hygiene. I also managed to rack up another $500 in vet bills this past week by being over reactive to Edgar's nausea. It also cost me 3 hours of potential packing time.

I spent another 2 hours in the new Indy film...yes, there was flooding involved just like in real life Indiana. We tried to get our friend to drive up from Seymour, Indiana to join us. Apparently none of us had watched the news because we were all baffled when he couldn't get onto I 70 due to the police blockades. Then again, none of us live in areas that were hit with 10+ inches of rain.

Other time suckers include, but are not limited to: playing the Wii, reading and completing 3 novels, more work, surfing the internet, sleeping, going to J's graduation, drinking, more obsessing about my lip sore, beating myself up over being so neurotic, deciding to make elaborate meals, researching HSV1 on the internet and medical school texts, freaking out about selling my car, listening to tornado sirens, the Sims, wondering if I should actually heed those tornado sirens, researching a/c units for Boston, deciding that it must be a hoax of the tornado warning as it doesn't look that bad outside, going to Costco, waking up to Mom asking me about the tornado to which I reply "what tornado?," applying to jobs in Boston, researching my car price online, helping my husband decide which internet provider/medical texts to purchase/cell phone/etc to go with (I know nothing about any of these subjects by the way), wondering if we have enough boxes but not doing anything with the existing empty ones, playing with Edgar, and being chided by my neighbors for not watching the weather reports.

I realize that blogging this post, for example, is just another way of delaying the inevitable. I don't know if I'm expecting tiny organized elves or packing fairies to appear when I'm sleeping. While I am tempted to go pick up my book and finish "just one more chapter....or twenty" I should probably go find the packing tape and take the Nike commercial advice of "Just Do It!"