Temple Tantrums

I think its safe to say that this move has been particularly emotionally draining on me. I had the equivalent of 7 Temple Tantrums yesterday. This is what my maternal side of the family affectionately calls our own style of hissy fits. They can be endearing if you look at them in the right light, but for the most part they just draw more attention to how the crazy genes get passed on through the generations.

I had to call my Mom several times through the day for coaching through these. Only the very stupid little things would push me over the edge. For example: wearing shoes in the house, or art supplies in the bedroom closet not the hall closet, or my personal favorite is the recycling "system" J put into place. It really consisted of him piling garbage around the trash bin according to material. This was truly unacceptable. For my first few tantrums, J would wander over and put his arms around me. But by the last one he was just rubbing his head and wandering away.

Typically these Temple Tantrums indicate that I am hungry. I don't register hunger. I register bitch. However, as I was fixing "lunch" at 3:00 I was convinced that I shouldn't be eating because perhaps I was soothing my emotions by eating which could then potentially yield a food addiction. Can you see how crazy this is? I can...24 hours later.

At dinner my husband looked as if he was going to crumble. He mentioned that this was supposed to be his "vacation" and that moving is hard on both of us. I immediately felt quite ashamed of the way I had been carrying on and on and on. Here we are: broke, new to the area of crazy drivers and amazing history (we stumbled upon Sam Adam's grave just the other day), and both are essentially "camping" at home until we get things unpacked. The only difference was, he has a deadline of when to report to work and as he put it: go back to where my time is no longer mine. He will once again be a slave to the system only this time, the 80 hour work week law doesn't apply. That one only protects residents, not fellows. I felt lower than low once I realized the full picture.

This morning one of my girlfriends called and explained that moving last August was her relationship test from hell. We both married and moved into our husband's existing spaces. For the first time we were moving into neutral territory. I had never thought of it like this, but it makes complete and total sense. The dynamics completely shift! No wonder I'm frustrated. I'm in uncharted territory. Somehow her explanation alone downshifted my anxiety.