Big Bang Bust

Just this past week I was minding my own business and was watching the local news. It was the usual: arson on the south side, murder on the east side, traffic on I70, and of course the rocketing property taxes. You know, all of those stories that just make your heart swell being an American. Because my family was pretty entrenched in the television industry, I don't watch the news like normal people. I notice when the chroma key is off on the weather person, when the copy editor obviously did not do a spell check on the headlines, and how many times the floor director is not queuing the anchor to look at the right camera. I also pay a lot more attention to the commercials. After all, this was our bread and butter.

At this time of year, its heavy with car sales or end of summer clearances in the seasonal wares. "Get your pool installed at 1/2 off!" This is of course in addition to the ask-your-doctor variety of new pharmaceuticals that are ALWAYS targeted to the generation seeking to ease aches and pains of growing older and who are actually watching the news. Next month I predict more office supply ads and back to school themes. What was completely off the beaten path was the museum ad for a regional site in a neighboring state.

It was a creative ad with a lot of art showing things like the Venus fly trap and reeds and other nature kinds of things. And then the tag line showed: "Prepare to Believe." My jaw dropped open. The Creation Museum. Not even Utah would go this far. Even Thanksgiving Point has a great Dinosaur museum in Lehi, Utah that has NO MENTION of God, the Bible, or anything and it is owned by a very prominent Mormon influence. The Mormons are pretty set in their doctrine that Creationism is the way to go. No big bang. No evolution. Nada.

I couldn't help but let my curiosity get out of hand and go check the site. Front page: "The Creation Museum presents a “walk through history.” Designed by a former Universal Studios exhibit director, this state-of-the-art 60,000 square foot museum brings the pages of the Bible to life."

Okey dokey. I then began to peruse other links on the site and found this:

Be prepared to experience history in a completely unprecedented way.

The state-of-the-art 60,000 square foot museum brings the pages of the Bible to life, casting its characters and animals in dynamic form and placing them in familiar settings. Adam and Eve live in the Garden of Eden. Children play and dinosaurs roam near Eden’s Rivers. The serpent coils cunningly in the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Majestic murals, great masterpieces brimming with pulsating colors and details, provide a backdrop for many of the settings.

The area within the museum has been divided into unusually configured spaces that allow for personal interaction with each of the 160 exhibits. Several parts of the museum, including the stunning forty-foot high portico with its cliff wall and floor-to-ceiling glass windows, flaunt open spaces and remarkable designs.

Walk through the Garden of Eden. The Tree of Life, central to the garden, stretches out its branches, laden with ripened fruits. Come face-to-face with a sauropod, a dinosaur of incredible dimensions. His monstrous frame moves through the low-lying thicket as he grazes on plants. Introduce yourself to our chameleons. Examine bones, a clutch of eggs from a dinosaur, an exceptional fossil collection, and a mineral collection. Walk through the Cave of Sorrows and see the horrific effects of the Fall of man. Sounds of a sin-ravaged world echo through the room. Finally, see the sacrificial Lamb on the cross, and the hope of redemption."

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? I'm no Bible scholar, but I don't really remember it ever mention dinosaurs hanging out around the Cave of Sorrows or the Tree of Life.

All of a sudden, the thought of raising kids in Utah is seeming a lot more appealing. Sure its behind the Zion Curtain, but its out of the Bible Belt.

Swill is Swell

Ok, its official: I'm a Potter-geek. I spent roughly 8 hours over the past 2 days blazing through all 759 pages. I even dreamed about the potential let down I would feel once the book was done and the series was over. Perhaps it just hasn't hit me yet, but I feel quite resolved about the whole epic tale. I truly only mention this because my original plan was to blog yesterday and this apparently did not happen because I was Potterized. However, I can now be devoted to my entry without any further temptings of the book calling me.

Last weekend a group of us went on an adventure to Plainsfield, Indiana. It was a Friday night which meant that one of the local wineries was doing free tastings, opened their grill, and had a band. Although it wasn't Sonoma, it sounded like a nice summer night. The winery we were heading to was Chateau Thomas Winery. Sure, the name sounded impressive. But who is this Thomas guy?

Charles Thomas used to be an OB/GYN and will not let anyone forget it. Just click on the link and you'll see what I mean. What this signifies is that he is a surgeon by training. Surgeons, especially old school ones, have a certain reputation for being a bit...well...hoity toity and arrogant. Why mention that he was a practicing doctor, let alone his specialty, if now he's a winemaker? That is really my only point.

I suppose with a name like "Chateau" I was expecting quaint, charming, cozy. Perhaps a cottage and some lovely grounds surrounded by grapevines. What we found was a warehouse surrounded by Chili's and Motel 6's right off of the freeway. A warehouse, y'all. The grounds were not landscaped, but simply a parking lot where the band played. The band was a completely different story.

The band consisted of two individuals. The man was seated with a synthesizer and a microphone and the lady was standing with a tambourine and a microphone. They were both middle aged and played, what was advertised as "contemporary," music. I heard renditions of Air Supply and "Abracadabra" that made Will Ferrel's and Cheri O'Terri's SNL skit look like it was hip. Escaping the crowds and music (and yes, there was a crowd), we went inside to the "tasting room." Before we entered the warehouse we saw that their "grille" was not a lovely restaurant with brightly colored umbrellas and wrought iron tables as I had envisioned, but simply a grill. One person charring burgers and another with a register on a card table with poster board announcing the prices.

The tasting room was a long oval bar with pourers everywhere. We muscled our way past the ever so enticing merchandise like tee-shirts with rhinestones spelling out, "Wine Diva," and what looked to be macrame hanging wine ranks to the bar. The lady handed us a sheet.
Are y'all seeing the top line? "for the discriminating wine enthusiast" Ooohkay. The descriptions of the wines were generous if not imaginary. For the first samples that each of us ordered, the looks on our faces were priceless.

"Its good, huh?" Nodded the wine pourer smiling maniacally.

There isn't much to say when your taste-buds are swimming in flavors that resemble Smuckers grape jelly that has fermented and gone bad. We were given three samples from the list. I think we were all overly optimistic when we ordered our second selections. One of us asked the pourer to give them her favorite. And, again, Welsh's grape juice would have been welcomed to our palates instead of this swill. Ah, and did I mention all of these samples were being served in essentially clear plastic dixie cups?

As we were pondering our third and final selection, grasping onto a hope and a prayer, we found it on the sheet (this alone caused me to take the menu so I could take pictures and blog about it.)
"A diabetic wine?" said one of the physician friends we were with.

There is something INHERENTLY WRONG with the idea of putting in artificial sweetener into wine, yet, only in the USA would you see this done and proudly advertised. I think it was the same friend who spoke up actually looked up the chemical formulation of Splenda on his palm pilot (yes, a bit geeky, I know.) Someone else ordered it just to see if it was as bad as it sounded.

The pourer had to get the red wine out of the fridge! Not a wine fridge, but a regular college dorm mini fridge. That should have been sign #812 as red wine, as a whole, should not be uber cold.

He managed to choke down one swallow and left the rest in the cup on the bar. As we left the rest of our semi-sipped samples on the bar and our stomachs turning, J kept apologizing about the grand idea of going to the winery. None of us really minded though. We got a lot of great laughs out of the experience.

Beauty, and "taste" for that matter, are all within the eye of the beholder. Perhaps good ol' Charlie should go back to practicing medicine and leave the wine making to others.

Professional Pontificiation

I realize I've been a bit of a slacker on the whole posting thing. Mea Culpa. (For anyone who doesn't know this phrase, you obviously are not a Catholic...look it up.) Its not like I've been completely somnolent. I actually have been doing quite a few worth while things with my time. For instance, I made an incredible bourbon marinated flank steak, chile lime roasted corn, and spinach salad the other night. I also polished my antique brass bed for when my mom comes to visit next month. (Incidentally her buying of the plane ticket was like manna from heaven; a much needed bright spot.) And I have been doing some part time consulting work.

I'm doing the whole "general" terms thing now after my readership exploded with past co-workers from my previous place of employment. Call it a Dooce-ism. (Again, if you do not know what this is, you obviously do not spend enough time surfing the internet and/or at least checking out my links of my favorite sites.) Another aside: I actually had my exit interview a la third party telemarketer last night. It was quite rewarding to actually give an honest review. I said what I meant: I love, LOVE, the CEO and would work for her directly anytime in my life. (Note, I said "directly" meaning that I would report to her.) She is bright, passionate, strategic, and a great person.

Anyhoo, this whole consulting this has been a blast. I've been able to do what I think I do best: diagnose organizations, apply brief solution focused interventions, coach individuals, and teach. Its rather funny how fate tempts you once you think you have things all figured out. For instance, just last week I was talking to a girlfriend telling her how happy I am right now with my career opportunities. I don't feel this driving need to always excel and keep raising the treadmill speed. That is quite a difference from my previous way of living. Wouldn't cha know not even 20 minutes later I got a call from a head hunter asking me to apply for a senior position with a health care org. As I was debating this over the next 24 hours of even putting my hat into the ring, the recruiter called and said that the company changed their mind and decided they wanted a RN. This is the bane of my existence as a MSW in a health care world.

Many organizations claim they are interdisciplinary. And for the most part, they are when it comes to patient care. There are docs, nurses, physical therapists, respiratory therapists, social workers, dietitians, chaplains, etc who all contribute to the whole of the patient and family. However, it is rare to find a health care system that promotes the same disciplines trusted with patient care into leadership. Most of those at the top are nurses. And you wonder why exactly we have a nursing shortage...it doesn't take a brainiac to figure this one out.

The nurses have done an incredible job lobbying themselves as the gatekeepers for monitoring care throughout all levels of an organization. I will say that my profession sucks at lobbying even though one of our hallmarks is to be advocates...hard to do when the majority of professionals are introverts.

To me, this doesn't make sense. MSW actually outranks both MD's and RN's on an academic standpoint. MD is just another bachelors, seriously look it up. And to be a RN, you just need an associates. I only point this out because the medical world is largely entrenched in hierarchy, including academics. Just look how teaching hospitals outrank community based facilities on every scale.

My next contention point has to do with the skills the job requires. I would argue that MSWs are much better equipped to handle leadership than RN's any day. (Note: I say this while the majority of my health care leaders are RN's including my old CEO. Only 3 are MSW's and 1 is a MHA.) While nurses are incredible at procedures (you wouldn't catch me doing a Foley cath) and monitoring progress according to their senses (vitals are all based on what you can hear, see, feel), MSW's are truly skilled in people. What motivates them? How do you plan strategic change? How does transformation occur? Looking at organizational systems in micro, mezzo, and macro levels simultaneously. These skills are what higher levels of leadership and administration demand. The other aspects of business, like financial skills, well, both of our educations suck at that. It is just something you learn on the job.

I actually had ruled out applying before the recruiter called me back, but I decided to push the point to see what the rationale was. Yes, I was just making a point and was hoping just to get the hamsters in their heads to run on the wheel a little bit faster. I asked for the job description and their reasoning. They said that the RN might have a better understanding of medical patient care, although with the job description medical patient care was not a component. More than anything I just found it fascinating.

Women may still be facing a glass ceiling, but in health care only the RN's hold the key to the executive boardroom.