Clean Wisdom

Well, Internet, its taken me some time but I'm finally beginning to attack all of the clutter. There are some rules of enlightenment I've been following that I thought I'd share.

1) Don't clear the clutter of your spouse/roommate/child/etc without their permission. Why? Because it will make your life hell. Hell. Not only that but it won't create the uplifted feeling you are going for. However, they may notice when you lead by example. On Tuesday I decided to start small and begin with the bathroom. I threw out old tubes of shaving cream 1/2 way empty and rusting in the cabinet, cleared the shelves, placed like-use items together, and left out only the essentials. I cleaned all surfaces of the gummy grime that was collecting and washed the windows. When J came home the first thing he said was, "Wow! It feels like a spa in here!" It took him a bit to realize why. The chaos was gone.

2) Put on fun music and bright clothes. Make it intentional the type of energy you are infusing into the area. Dance while you are putting things away or releasing them.

3) Follow 3 simple rules when deciding what to do with Aunt Betty's casserole dish or some God-awful painting you got for a bridal gift.

• Does it lift my energy when I look at it or even think about it?
• Do I absolutely love it?
• Is it genuinely useful?

If your answer is a resounding yes to the first question and an equally resounding yes to the second or third question, keep it. If it doesn't, let it go. Another equally fantastic question is: Does it reflect who I am or want to become?

4) There is something to the bagua and its symbolism. For example, remember all of those boxes I have on the floor in the back bedroom? Yes, that really embarrassing photo I posted awhile back. All of those boxes are contents of previous jobs I have held. In them I have conference binders, books about clinical supervision, plaques given to me for awards or certifications. Guess where they are in my house bagua? My marriage and love sector. I've been unable to really move on from my identity with my past career positions. Gee, I wonder why? No wonder its hard for me to live in the present with my relationship or often think that there has to be a choice between career and marriage. It is the sector and project that I am the least looking forward to but only because of the emotions that are tied to it. Once I recognized that, the task became a bit easier in my mind.

5) Have you noticed that depressed people generally have a lot of clutter on the ground? Stuff weighs them down. Stacks of books, paperwork, things under the beds, etc. Move the stuff, change your mood.

24, My Style

Well, its been....a day. A long, long 24 hours might I add. I expect it to grow longer, that's the worst part. For starters, take last night. J and I went on a date. A real live date where you get dressed up and put on your makeup while singing and dancing in the mirror. I had that much excitement. However, J looked like a train wreck when he walked through that door. I convinced him that dinner would be the high point and so we braved the 12 degree weather to scrape the car and venture to Waltham. There we were going to try a Zagat reviewed hot spot that featured French Cambodian cuisine. There was a tasting menu that couldn't be beat and the first 2 courses were amazing. However when we tasted each others main course I had severe regret I even put that bite into my mouth. There was some sort of flavor in his dish that was revolting. Literally. Yup, it was an expensive diet meal.

Cut to Act Two: me forgetting to call my professor this afternoon. I called 34 minutes late absolutely mortified and got an incredibly icy reception. Even after I apologized multiple times, it was clear I wasn't going to get tossed a bone. Nothin'. Hard to move into a mentoring/coaching role after that.

And yes, our beloved Act Three...I'm certain you are just dying to know. Edgar has been running low on food for awhile now and this morning we were scraping the bottom of the kibble bin unsuccessfully. In my infinite wisdom I decided it was smart to leave the house in 19 degree weather, drive to the place, hobble over the snow piles and ice to the store and then carry the 28 pound bag back over the snow and attempt to put it in the car without bending over. I'm happy to say I didn't fall, by the grace of God might I add. However I did leave the bag in the car for J to get out later. When I got to the front door, my frozen red fingers fumbled for the key in the lock, twisted it ever so slightly, and with a slight snap it broke off in the door. After calling the landlord I sat in the car waiting for a 21 year old kid with orange hair and baggy jeans to arrive. He tried to get the key out then attempted to pick the backdoor lock. 15 minutes late he said, "Well, its official. You are safe here. No one can pick this lock." When I asked how he got into the locksmith profession he told me I didn't want to know. I suppose it was a don't ask/don't tell policy. He finally drilled the core and put in a new lock. He explained that the problem was the deadbolt which was so old there aren't parts to fix it and the door is so thin they don't make hardware to re-fit it. Bottom line: expect to get locked out again. As I mentioned this to our landlord later that evening she told me she would put that higher on her to-do list.

Abundance

I've been in a state of the I-Want's but what I realize is I need to be in the state of I-Have's. It is about appreciating what you have but also getting to the state of mind of abundance. There are small luxuries that I crave. Some are attainable, others are memories or goals.

• A pedicure at Sorelle Spa in Salt Lake City
• A facial at the Cliff Lodge at Snowbird
• K. Hall Fig reed diffuser
• A collection of the Barefoot Contessa's cookbooks
• The bologense sauce at Mama Corolla's in Indy
• Strolling the farmers markets with girlfriends
• A lavender scented bubble bath
• A novel I get so engrossed in that I stay up until 2 AM to finish it
• Ah-ha moments of ingenious creativity
  
• Clean sheets
• The sound of the ocean
• Organization
• Fresh flowers
• My Real Simple magazine and a cup of chai in front of the fire or outside on a warm summer day
• Craniosacral therapy
• A yoga class
• River rafting the Colorado
  
• Space mountain at Disney
• The angel hair pasta at Harry's Bar in Los Angeles
• Snorkeling at Shark's Cove
• Skiing at Alta or Deer Valley
• Any tarot, psychic, or astrological readings for insight and guidance
• Snuggling with Edgar
• Chatting on the phone with girlfriends
• Williams Sonoma's winter forest candle
• Pine Cone Hill's pajamas
  

Lemon Trees and Clutter

It is an understatement to say that I have a penchant for cleaning. A clean house is better than a dip in a pool on a hot day or the smell of crisp mountain air for me. Wouldn't you know that I married a guy who has a propensity for clutter. I call this one of my *life lessons*. How to find balance between the two. The need to find order and clean on a weekly basis has been challenged even more so during the past 4 months with my physical limitations. Again, *life lesson*.

For years I have struggled in blending his hoarding and my purging. I've concluded that the behavior is fear based. (See? I've intellectualized it so I don't get the emotion of raging insane fury and pull my hair out.) His logic: What if we may need x-y-z someday? My logic: if we haven't used it in ___ amount of time, we don't need it and chances are we won't remember where we put it. During our first 6 months of marriage, J came home one day to find all of our clothes on the floor and me hanging them back up on nice wood hangers, color coordinated and sorted by article type. I resisted throwing out his Cosby sweaters although it was beyond tempting. When we moved last summer I also resisted throwing out his 90's rugby shirts, but I did get him to agree in giving 2, yes 2, ties away to goodwill. I even tried throwing out my own medical lab coats only to find them somehow in our front closet in Boston. When I inquired how they got there he said he was concerned about my name being embroidered and someone stealing them out of our garbage to impersonate me. Seriously this man thinks I'm that awesome that someone would want to pretend to be me and walk around a hospital giving out referrals to meals on wheels. He's a cute and dedicated husband.

On Wednesday we traveled to the surgeon for my 1 month check-up. I got a timid green light to "advance activities as tolerated." J, being his usual careful self, had the doctor emphasize the slow progression to prevent me from thinking I could vacuum, mop, and haul 30+ pounds of stuff around the house. Its been 2 days now and I have resisted the inclination of taking down that damn Christmas tree by myself and finally doing my seasonal recycling of my wardrobe. Its like an itch I can't scratch. Compound this with my premenstrual dose of crazy and ooh, golly, I'm a good time.

On a parallel track, one of my best girlfriends has (finally) launched a website exposing her talents as a master stylist. She is one who instinctively knows what are lasting trends, classic impressions, and soulful paths. Plus she can do this on an individual level or for your home. She even does this with feng shui. This year she made a pact with herself to stop giving away her brilliance for free. (I've linked it over on my faves.) Women have a tendency to underestimate their skill worth mostly because the bulk are intangible. How do you define your skill set? (Note: I did not say "your worth.") But, I'm getting off track.

I could handle the hoarding if it were selective and organized. For now what we have is a lot of clutter. (Yes, I am posting pictures so hold me accountable of cleaning them up. Motivation via embarrassment.) Piles of papers sit on desks next to computers that bit the dust first almost a year ago and then again in August. Bookshelves are jam packed with others lying on top of the vertical rows because there isn't any more space. Intuitively I KNOW it is bad feng shui. What do you do with so much stuff and no place to put it? I will totally admit that the majority of the stuff on the floor is stuff from my office...that is when I actually had a job. No job = no place to put it.

This is where the lemon tree comes in.

This morning I called Ms. AP about various things like the sudden termination of home health (yes, I was upset and had a small cry over it), mini diva's impending birth on Monday (go Stace!), her leadership of the daisy troop (Brownies for 5 year olds), and the luscious fragrance of lemon trees. We both agree that our favorite flower is the stargazer lily not only for their sturdy blooms and brilliant center hue, but the fragrance will perfume your whole house. My third favorite on the fragrance line is the tuberose. I was telling her about my second favorite flower scent is the lemon blossom by referencing my mom's that she diligently nurtures. Its an indoor tree and Utah isn't exactly known for their citrus so she hauls it outside on the front stoop in the summer and on warmer days spring and autumn. She gets rewarded with ambrosial flowers and one or two tiny lemons. I went on to say that I really wanted a lemon tree to call my own.

When I was younger the good Catholic family that I came from would have a recurring conversation called, "What do you want to be reincarnated as?" Mom and my bro would always say a bird, Dad would always point to the family dog, and I would say a lemon tree. I thought feeling the warmth of the sun and soft taps of the rain then giving pretty sunny fruit sounded like a good gig. Getting a lemon tree of my own will probably be the closest thing I can get to in this lifetime. I noticed that Williams Sonoma are selling them this winter for outrageous sums, but I was determined to get one. This was especially true once I heard that yellow is a perfect color for the center of your house as it represents the health section of your bagua and living things accentuate it. Good hell. What do I have to lose? Its not like my spine (aka "back bone" of my health) has been totally awesome these past few months. I then found a wholesale website that was having a sale. Hello? Serendipity? I then bought a couple of used books on amazon about de-cluttering your house, de-clutter your life. I think I may start with the 9 things like AP suggested come Monday when I'm out of school...