Exercise in Parenting

Ever since I brought Edgar home with me 2.5 years ago, my mother has joked that he has been preparing me for children. From the puking in the middle of the night, numerous favorite toys that have visited the "surgeon" because he's destroyed them (mostly Mr. Quail), houndini's multiple escape tricks and subsequent messes he left in his wake, and even the special food I spent HOURS trying to find the distributor for when I moved to Indy. We even gave him swimming lessons having him watch Hannah, our neighbor's lab, jump in the lake after toys before letting him test the waters. I think yesterday put us over the top.

In the beginning of May, J and I are taking a much-needed "vacation" to the East Coast. I write that it is a "vacation" because we're hoping to mix some pleasure in with the business. Typically we buy Edgar a posh ride with us in the cargo unit of the airplane when we go back to Utah. He even has his special sweater and decorated dog crate complete with a letter to the ground crews and an extra baggy of food just in case (see previous entries where this went completely wrong thanks to Fernando). This trip, we are leaving Edgar here for the very first time.

Both of us have been quite anxious about this. Edgar? In a metal cage? For almost 3 days? It just seems cruel. (Says the ex-vet tech who took care of many animals that boarded in the clinic.) We found an alternative: cage free boarding. The dogs get to run around, play, have someone there 24 hours a day, sleep in the beds with the humans, etc. Sounds ideal, right? (Ok, ideal would be bringing him with us but I do realize he is a DOG.)

Last weekend I inquired about making a reservation. The lady told me that he had to come for an evaluation/interview where they could see how he does with the other dogs, introduce him slowly to larger breeds, and judge his temperament to then assign him a colored collar which we would pay for, of course. If he passed the evaluation, then he would need to come for a full day of doggy day care before we could make the reservation for his stay. I felt as if we were interviewing for the city's most elite private preschool...with our dog.

Our evaluation appointment was at 11:30 yesterday. My husband filled out the 4-page questionnaire about his diet, his playtime, his preferences on size/gender of other playmate dogs, how he expressed happiness, commands he knows, etc. I was pretty amazed actually to see how he filled it out so completely without raising an eyebrow. We then had to leave him for an hour. We ended up in one of the most she-she suburbs of Indy grabbing a trendy wrap for lunch and cafe au lait before returning.

We got a tour of the place and I secretly worried what color-coded collar Edgar would get.

"Red is for dominant, blue is for even tempered, green is for timid, pink is for special needs, and orange is for medication." The behavior specialist explained. "Edgar is a blue."

I let out a sigh of relief and pride. I swear it was like someone telling me that my kid had been accepted to the private, most expensive, Jesuit college prep preschool where only PhD's teach the 3 year olds and are certified in child development. We paid our handsome fee for the privilege of passing the evaluation and booked his doggy day care for later this week.

To reward Edgar for his fantastic behavior we took him to the local organic dairy creamery for some ice cream and to sit out on the deck so he could watch the free-range chickens. Ok, so we ate the ice cream, but he did get a lick of my organic strawberry flavored bit of heaven. We even took him to the dog park after, but he was too exhausted to really interact with the other dogs and in fact was more of an only child wallflower hanging out with his parents. Reminded me of Sixteen Candles where the parents are taking their child to the dance and barring the doors to the gym while he yelled, "I just wanna be with you guys!" Alas, he was tired. So we went to Brugge Brasserie for Belgian beer and to sit on the patio (Edgar on the outside of the rail for Health Dept standards) where he sat just like a good dog the whole time.

Two conclusions from my experience: No doubt in my mind, Edgar is the best dog ever; and Oh.My.God what kind of a parent am I going to be?!?