Land of Oz

Well, we're officially back and into our old routine. Read: J is perpetually tired, taking a nap on his precious day off and I cleaned the bathrooms and did laundry. Ah, the typical Sunday. There are many things I learned on my latest jet setting adventure.

1) Australians love bacon and they put it on EVERYTHING. We even had bacon lasagna. Why in the hell anyone though this was a good idea is beyond me.

2) Australians love to put beets on hamburgers. I'm not kidding. We ordered a burger "with the lot" and it wasn't just a plain old burger. Nope. It had a hamburger patty, ham, bacon (of course), cheese, a fried egg, salad, mayonnaise, raw cucumbers, and beets. One of the locals proclaimed, "Ah, now that is very Australian! We love beets and beet juice on our burgers."

3) "Chips" come with everything. Even when I was at a seafood restaurant and ordered Thai fish it was paired with french fries.

4) The Whitsundays are a MUST in life. The beaches are beautiful and white, the coral gardens are brilliant, and the fish are friendly. Sailing is the best way to get around. :)

5) "Biscuits" are really cookies. Don't be fooled.

6) Ordering coffee is a trial within itself. You have a flat white, a tall black, a cap, a latte, etc. I still don't know what a flat white coffee is, but it doesn't come with milk. Go figure.

7) Breakfast is called "brekky"

8) Just because there is an unlimited amount of wine at a wedding doesn't mean you should drink it. 3 of the 8 people at our table puked after doing "Stripping the Willow" (Not a sexual thing, but more Scottish)

9) Yes, seeing a bunch of guys in different tartans and kilts is a bit odd when you are in the middle of a Japanese tea garden

10) Stinger suits are not flattering. However, they do save you from taking a trip to the emergency vinegar station by the lifeguards on the beach.

11) Non American yogurt is always superior. God, why do we have such crap? The yogurt section in the grocery stores literally almost takes up the whole aisle and they have incredible flavors like passion fruit, honey, tamarind, mango, etc.

12) Sydney has one of the most effective public transport systems I've ever seen.

13) The US is soooo far behind the world in things like carbon neutral transport, all detergents being phosphate free, putting buckets in showers to water the grass, etc. And yes, our International image sucks.

14) Taking a vacation and living in the same house for a week with your husband's ex-girlfriend is a very very bad idea. I don't care how mature you think you are, everything you learned in junior high is true: Girls are mean.

15) A "lolly" is a general term for candy. An "icy lolly" is a Popsicle.

16) It is very odd to see banners that say "Happy Christmas" with a picture of a bright sun and then jingle bells on it. Apparently the tradition in the Southern Hemisphere is to do a BBQ out on the beach. What's even stranger is that they still listen to carols like, "White Christmas"

17) Voting in Australia is mandatory. You get fined if you don't show up. In Parliament they think nothing of calling each other "wankers," "idiots," or whatever other insult they can throw at one another.

19) No where else on earth do they have so many things that can kill you. Australia has the most poisonous snake, spider, salt water crocodile (aka "salties), jellyfish, etc. One of our Scottish friends, a veterinarian, was deathly afraid of the funnel web spider and would rant on and on about how he just bets they are armed with AK47's.

20) A "hotel" in Australia does not have any accommodations. It is actually just a bar. Very misleading indeed especially if you are a drunk tourist.