I Can See the Light!!!

There are many reasons why today is a good day. For one, it is my husband's last night on this hellish rotation of the ICU...also his last ICU rotation in his residency. It has seriously sucked the life out of his bone marrow. This particular ICU has been rated as the most severe in mortality (about 70% of all admissions die) in teaching hospitals across the Nation. J's particular attitude is, "If I can make it here..."

Its one thing to have an expected death, but its a completely different issue when patients who were fine crump on you when they were expected to be discharged. I think that has been the hardest part. At least with palliative care (a potential fellowship interest) all of those have come to terms with expected outcomes and have abandoned traditional allopathic curative medicine. The ethics have been difficult for J as well. (e.g. Why exactly are we transplanting a guy for the third time in 5 years?) Believe it or not, he moves onto an elective month in September of ethics.

September will be our month of potential grounding. He has been going non stop since June...basically he missed summer completely. In our last official week of observed summer his goal is to get to our pool as many times as possible before it closes next Monday. We'll also be looking to finally bottle the pilsner we brewed in April that has been sitting in our closet reaching its malty goodness potential. And, we'll be discussing what one year from now will look like. As of July 1, 2008 he will be finito in his residency training. This of course begs the question of, "Now what?"

Yesterday I landed a PRN job as a medical social worker. I swear, the minute I walked back into the hospital, saw the gurneys, smelled the ammonia, saw the volunteers in their cute pink smocks at the information desk...well, I knew I was home. It sounds ridiculous, but true. One of the social workers asked me why PRN. I had to be honest. It wouldn't be really ethical for me to take a really big job right now knowing that 1) I'll be gone for 2 months in Spring, and 2) Nothing is for certain after June 2008. This would make my third part time job I hold, which is great. The last time I held more than one part time job it was right before I left for graduate school where I found myself as a part time veterinary tech and part time pastry chef. I liked the variety.

Life's future is pretty up in the air right now for us. Its kind of like standing on the edge of a cliff. Thrilling, and scary. 2008 could bring us new jobs, new locations, potentially planning a family, new challenges...or who knows, we could still be here in Indiana with similar jobs and a new fellowship. I certainly hope September brings insight.