Star of International Procrastination

Given my last experience with government bureaucratic agencies a la drivers license, to say I was hesitant about getting my passport was an understatement. Don't get me wrong, I've been thinking about it for quite awhile. However, my procrastination looked more like a 3 year old kicking the dirt with a scowl, whining, "I don't wanna!" I probably would have put it off even more except I knew we had already bought our airline tickets to Australia for mid-November. $1400 for one plane ticket was motivation enough to move my ass.

I renewed my passport back in 2004 when I almost went to Jamaica, but now my name has changed and that could cause a few eyebrows to raise trying to get through customs. I had been thinking about it as I did get my photos (oh so unflattering) done at Costco. BTW, did you know that you can't smile anymore in these photos? Good God! Not only do you look ugly with the bad lighting and white background, but now you look dismal. Nothing says I'm happy to be an American than a citizen looking pissed off. I will say that the online part was quite helpful. I could fill out all sorts of forms with obscure names like DS-11, DS-4500, etc. I also had to head off to our safe deposit box to find my birth certificate. However, this time I was prepared and brought lunch with me to eat in the line at the post office knowing this was going to be a "process."

There were 5 people ahead of me. 20 minutes later I reached the window only for her to tell me: "You don't want me."

"I don't?" I asked confused and with a glob of mayonnaise on my shirt.

"No. Go stand by the packaging materials and wait for the first window, not me." She pointed her acrylic nail at me and waved to the boxes.

Yup, this wasn't exactly proving to be a better experience than the DMV thus far.

After finishing up putting postage on a rather large box for a grumbling woman, I was welcomed by a friendly smile. It must have caught me off guard. "Go on, honey, come on up."

The African American lady had some wild eyeglasses on and went by the name of "Starr."

"Ooh, where are you goin'?" She said rummaging through all of my paperwork.

"Australia. In November. I wasn't quite sure what you needed..." I began. And I wasn't only because the online instructions had all sorts of contingencies of what to bring so I took just about every piece of identification I could find.

"You doin' just fine! Australia? Never been." She continued to sort through my papers. "See, you didn't even sign your name until you were in front of me! You paid attention to details!"

Truth was, I forgot. Never saw the signature line, but once I took a small oath I quickly scribbled my illegible name.

"And you married, now!" She said holding up my marriage certificate. "Lemme see that ring! Girl, that is georgous! Allright now, let's see, I need a check to the Department of State. You said you were leaving in November? We're getting 'em back first to mid November. I think you'll be ok and not need to do the expidited fee."

"Does it take the same amount of time for a simple renewal?" Thinking of J. He still needs to take care of his as well, but we've been waiting for him to get a haircut before getting immortalized in the scowling citizen pose.

"Uh huh. I've had many people get mad about that one. Like its my fault! I just be nice, though. No need for me to get huffy about it. You've got to pay somewhere and I just leave it up to the Lord!" Um, ok.

"I should get my husband going on his. I wouldn't want to go without him."

"Now, that's what I said. We're going to St. Martin next week and my husband said to wait until he's done with his golf tournament. Dumb me! The kids and me coulda been there now and he could have come after the tournament! I coulda said, 'You have a good time playin' golf and meet me on the beach!' Not next time. "

She was stamping documents, signing them, and putting them in an envelope.

"See now, honey, you did just fine! You are done and you didn't even finish your lunch!" And with that she shook my hand. "You have a wonderful time!"

It was the most pleasant experience I've ever had in a govt agency. Just one person, Starr, made it worth while. And who said there is no such thing as a happy post office worker?